Saturday, December 19, 2009

Matt's Australian Adventure

I know you are all aching in anticipation to read all about my Australian adventure and see the pictures taken with my skillful hands. But before I show you pictures, let me start out by saying that Australia is one of the coolest places I have ever been and cannot wait to go back there. That said, getting into Australia is not easy at all. And the flight there is terrible as well (as shown in the below picture).

When I boarded my plane at the Kuala Lumpur airport, I was handed a customs card that needed to be filled out before entering Australia. This did not seem like a big deal at first because I have to do this with every country I visit. However, the Australian version was nothing like the others. I kept reading statements like "If in doubt,
DECLARE IT" and many warnings about penalties for trying to sneak items into the country that are not allowed.

I did not have anything to worry about. I had no restricted items and happily filled out the warning cluttered customs card. When I finally reached the border agent, she asked me detailed questions about everything. She asked where I was staying, what was I doing there, what my mother's maiden name was and why I was staying for such a short time.

I answered all her questions honestly and then she stamped my passport with the coveted Australia passport stamp and let me pass. I did not get far however... In fact I only got three feet into Australia before I was accosted by three border agents who wanted to ask me more questions.

They asked me the same questions that the first border agent asked me but they tried to catch me in lies by asking them a little differently. They seemed satisfied and let me go by. But before they did, they marked my entry card with something. When I handed the card to the officer before I left the customs area, he escorted me to a different section of the customs area and
there I met the three border agents who had just questioned me.

I said "Hello again." They did not respond with a "hello." Instead they said, "place your bags on the table; we are going to search them." I did as was asked. While they were going through my underwear they asked me who I was meeting here and why was I staying for such a short time. I told them that my friend was meeting me and gave them his name and phone number. As they were reading my receipts and going through all my papers I began to fear that they were about to put on a rubber glove and give me a thorough search. Suddenly another woman, wearing very
tight pants that accented her "front bottom" very well, came up and whispered something into the customs agent ear. Immediately she started putting everything back into my bags and told me to enjoy my short stay. Thirty minutes after getting my passport stamped I was finally allowed passage.

What was their sudden change of heart? Why was I no longer a national threat to Australia? It turns out they went and called my friend who was on his way to pick me up and they met him in the waiting area. They asked him similar questions, which he answered the same way I had.

Finally I walked outside the Adelaide airport and into the heat of the Australian sun. I now know how freed prisoners feel.

Obviously it all went uphill from there and I fed kangaroos and saw Tasmanian Devils, koalas and many other indigenous animals/mammals.

Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment (a lot more have been posted on Facebook... A LOT more):

Happy Birthday Anmaree and Amelia!!

I can't believe you are both 18! You can now vote and see NC-17 movies without mom and dad's permission.


I love you!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Look Alikes

Since I have been in the Philippines, I have been told that I look like the following people:

  1. Josh Hartnett
  2. Ellen DeGeneres
  3. Anderson Cooper
  4. Marie Osmond
  5. Ben Affleck
  6. Barack Obama
  7. Gwenyth Paltrow
  8. Brad Pitt
  9. Steve Irwin
  10. The Man vs. Wild guy
  11. and my favorite: Jennifer Lopez
With the exception of the Barack Obama comment (??) I guess to Filipinos all white people look a like. Either that or I am one interesting looking person.

By the way, I do not look like any of these people and the Jennifer Lopez comment really pissed me off.